After being introduced to the new islanders as well as this year's themes of island leaders and rules, this week the Sharks and Tigers met the first new arrivals of Shipwrecked 2009. My opinions about Maz and Andrew changed drastically throughout the episode. When Maz appeared with her cat's ears and the rest, I imagined she might be vain, shallow and self-absorbed. I expected that Andrew would use his intelligence to understand how best to get on with his fellow Shipwreckers and thought that he would be popular with them all.

We first saw the two new arrivals being taken off to Tiger island - along with "sacrificed" Shark, Hollie. At first, the new arrivals seemed to fit in well and to get on with the majority of the Tigers. I felt that the rules imposed on Tigers by Andrew and Maz were just what was needed. Switching the roles showed the boys their abilities as far as cooking was concerned and might even have persuaded them to consider this role-reversal as a more regular thing. The speed dating also went down well, and it seemed that lots of fun was had by all. Contrary to my original expectations, Maz made bonds with several of the Tigers, and definately did seem popular. Andrew - though he did seem to get on with certain individuals - was patronising towards some people, and made himself seem arrogant and rude.

On their move to Sharks, Andrew and Maz were told to expect a "party atmosphere" and they seemed keen to experience this. From what we saw of their time on Shark island, however, the new arrivals were shown anything but a party. When they implemented their island laws, the word of the day was most definately work, and they also saw disagreements amongst the Sharks. I didn't notice either of the new arrivals making particular bonds with any of the Sharks, and Andrew also seemed to criticize their overall attitude and outlook on Shipwrecked life.

I was very surprised, therefore, to see the two new arrivals pick to live on Shark island at the beach party. Especially after her talk with Liam, I thought Maz would be keen to become a Tiger, and I imagined that the disruption in Shark camp caused by Nadejah might further put them off joining this tribe. Clearly my expectations for this episode proved very different in every way from the actual outcome, but it was definately interesting to watch! I still have no idea where my loyalties will lie this year and don't see that changing any time soon. I hear that next week's episode is "the one to watch", so no doubt there will be further trouble in paradise!

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Well it's week two and the new arrivals have hit the shore. Who thinks it was a better show when only one new arrival came at a time? It's too much to take in for an audience that is still sobering up. But fear not, Northern lass Maz has the kind of body I imagined only existed on women in Manga comic books and fellow newbie Andrew is there to provide the contrast. This man has the face of Barack Obama and the personality of David Cameron. Combine that with the sort of physique that make Mr Muscle look like Vin Diesel and we have a new arrival that everyone wishes would turn around and go home, even if it meant swimming back to Berskhire or wherever he's from (Berkshire seems appropriate).

Viewers are told Andrew is a 'City boy'. This is media code for highly paid financial industry employee in London. It's strange then that he's allowed a ten week holiday to go and saw up bits of wood and argue with peasants. Important people don't get so much time off, is it possible he isn't a high-flying rainmaker but just some drip who works in the post room? No, all my questions are answered as Andrew explains he was a consultant and after a year of work has decided he has achieved everything possible. I'm guessing its more like after a year there was no-one in the company who would work with him so Andrew quit nine seconds after his boss said "I'm going to sack you in ten seconds."

After the beach party and people being nicer to the new arrivals then they will be at any other point in their lives, the Tigers head back to their own island with their new charges Andrew, Maz and Shark reject Hollie. Keen to impress, the Tigers launch into a charm offensive with Andrew and Maz but decide not to bother with Hollie as they are stuck with her for another four weeks regardless. The lack of red carpet treatment following the heave-ho from the Sharks is too much for the strong independent feminist from Cambridge who does the Shipwrecked 'lonely and miserable thing' - stomping off on her own to someplace the film crew can get a good 'isolated Princess Diana at the Taj Mahal' shot, you know a place like the top of a tree, an outcrop of rocks stretching into the Pacific or a tethered pontoon that is bobbing up and down like a polar bear in Chester Zoo and she starts blarting.

Andrew and Maz have a speed-dating night up and running. This gives Sonny a chance to bombard Maz with his cheesy Chiselhurst chat-up lines. This approach might pull 'em in Plumstead but will it work in the Pacific? And while we're on the subject of the Lewisham lothario has anyone else noticed Sunny seems to think a pair of trousers should be fastened below your waist? I suppose it saves a girl time, how considerate.

Meanwhile on Shark island Mackenzie is having a row with taff totty Rosie. It turns out she's annoyed with him. Not for having a beard that's about three different colours but for his general incompetence. This hurts the Windsor wurzel who after a week on a desert island looks like something from a 'Hot Tramps' calendar. She says he isn't completing his construction responsibilities and he disagrees, pointing to his latest architectural triumph, a chicken trap which is cunningly disguised as a useless pile of sticks. In fact, it is a useless pile of sticks. Mackenzie has a go at Rosie and despite his best efforts with the chicken trap I reckon his chance of catching any birds have fallen sharply.

Elsewhere on Sharks, in a disappointment to hot-blooded males, sultry Soodi is dressed like your local librarian. It's as though the presence of Mackenzie and Xanthi make her want to look as unnattractive as possible. Despite the unwelcome invasion of cotton where once there was cleavage it doesn't work. Put it this way, if Soodi was my librarian I'd be checking out books like 'Coping With Cold Showers' and 'Surviving Celibacy' twice a week while checking her out. Soodi averts a crisis as Nadejah has been left with the highly demanding job of pouring some water out of one bottle and into another. The Sharks drinking water is ending up on the beach as numpty Nadejah is slopping the stuff about like she's washing a car - there's more falling out of the bottle than there is falling out of her bikini. Soodi tells Nadejah to make herself useful and go and find a log. Nadejah's not completely useless though and supplies one of the best lines of the week "Andrew's annoying just to look at".

Of the new arrivals Maz has endeared herself to the tribe while Andrew is proving about as popular as a dose of diarrhoea. Hollie seems to like Andrew and the pair have a flirtatious debate about Pythagoras' theorem. Bad-barneted bread-butterer Mark is feeling left out thanks to Andrew's attempt to turn Tiger Island into a Radio4 debate and suggests Andrew is a bit arrogant. Well, he doesn't have to worry as soon Andrew and Maz are waving goodbye to Tiger Island until their elbows are sore.

On Sharks, Nadejah explains that the Tigers accused her of not pulling her weight. Would that even be possible? It's Shipwrecked 2009 not the 2012 Olympics. She explains however that criticism of her contribution over the week is unfair as she spent half an hour of it doing some weaving. Mackenzie thinks Shark beach is beyond the laws of Physics "it makes you feel hot and cool at the same time". Still, there is more evidence the rules of the universe don't apply in Shipwrecked and they are to be found in Maz's bikini top. I suggest they rename Shark Island 'Puppy Island' in honour of Rosie, Soodi and Maz's luxury items.

So it is decision time and no-one wants Andrew to choose their island. Maz has a tactic - pick the opposite island to Andrew in a bid to avoid trouble in paradise. Tiger tough-guy Liam agrees to offer himself to Maz in a selfless show of teamspirit but will it be enough to tempt the jiggling Geordie? But there is a twist. Maz and Andrew have to pick the SAME island to live on. Andrew sets up a working party discussion group with Maz to decide their destination and it's .... the SHARKS. Tigers are gutted and Hollie has got the waterworks on again.

Is the capture of Maz and Andrew really a victory for the Sharks though? After all, any future arrival will have the choice of living on an island with Nadejah and Andrew on it, or not. Personally, I'd rather pick my nose than pick Sharks with that pair around.


This week's risers and fallers:

Risers:
Rosie - unlike every previous Shipwrecked contestant Rosie knows disagreements don't get solved by shouting 'No, shut up' at people.
Sonny - great chat-up lines


Fallers:
Nadejah - is looking like a liability on Shark island
Sonny's trousers
Xanthi - silly sabotage of Tiger island will get him in trouble