Shipwrecked Episode 4 - Sunday 22nd February 2009

New arrivals Greg and Franki join in with the arrangements for Soodi's birthday party, but soon notice rifts within the tribe. Meanwhile, exiled Shark Xanthi settles on Tiger Island.

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David O'Hara writing exclusively for GetShipwrecked...
http://www.getshipwrecked.co.uk/profile/davidohara/

Well it's Week 4 on Shipwrecked and things are hotting up nicely. We've got two new arrivals and on the face of it, there is not much to say about either of them as they head off to Shark Island. Tagging along is Tiger turncoat Mark, who defected at the end of Week 3, complaining he can't enjoy Shipwrecked without the company of Tiger reject Nadejah. That's weird. How would Nadejah's presence improve the holiday of a lifetime? It's like saying you couldn't enjoy Girls Aloud visiting for a night of unbridled debauchery unless Cheryl trod in dog muck on her way round.

In one of the biggest shocks ever on Shipwrecked, it turns out Greg is a normal bloke. Albeit one who seems to think the game boules is 'like, yer know, ker-plunk'. What games did he leave at home? "Monopoly, like, yer know - sumo wrestling" or "chess, like, yer know - morris dancing."

Franki it seems has a can of laughing gas as her luxury item as every new sight introduced has her in near-hysteria. Andrew shows Franki the camp - Franki giggles. Andrew shows Franki the long drop - Franki chuckles. Television as an art form hits a new low when Franki laughs as Nadejah shows her, the rest of the island, the camera crew and everyone watching at home just how she likes to sit when she is on the toilet. The BBC wouldn't get away with using the license fee on this.

Back on Tiger Island, banished Shark Xanthi is feeling left out. One of the gang suggests the Tigers go swimming. Despite being on a tiny island surrounded by water the Tigers respond like no-one has ever thought of this before and go into a near-ecstatic state on hearing this amazing idea.

When asked if she is swimming out to say hello to the Tigers, Shark Nadejah opts instead to pursue her favourite pastime of sitting on her backside and moaning. Neanderthal Nadejah hasn't got the hang of human interaction. "What's the point in saying hi to them?" asks the philosophical foodophile, "I can say hi to myself."

The Sharks return to their island and tipped off by the Tigers they look for the wooden mascot in a search that rivals an Indiana Jones treasure hunt. Maz especially loved this giraffe and when they dig up its broken carcass she starts making a noise like a broken vacuum cleaner. Clearly grief-stricken, Maz cradles the neck of the giraffe in her arms and nestles its head between her bosoms. This must be the luckiest wooden giraffe in the world, as it's resting in this most heavenly of locations I'm watching and half-expecting it's tongue to pop out for a cheeky lick.

Andrew clashes with Nadejah over the quality of his cooking. Who'd have expected she'd be fussy? Possibly under threat of no meal being dished out Nadejah makes an uncharacteristic apology. Perhaps Nadejah's attitude has rubbed off on Andrew though as he accepts adding "but I still think you are lazy and a waste of space." He points out how much better the island could be without her but why stop there? I wonder how much better the entire planet would be without Nadejah.

New arrival Greg is starting to look like an advertisement for sunblock, he's burning up on Tiger island. It must be hard to stay cool when Maz has got the hots for you but there's a difficult decision coming up. Will Greg choose to live on Shark island and pursue his chances with Maz but suffer the company of Nadejah? It's like someone offering you a brand new Porsche but you can only have it if you sleep with Elton John.

We're often told Shark island is where all the party action goes on and they've got a chance to prove it with Soodi's birthday. If this is a party then I'm tampon string. Sorry Sharks, but a chair and a couple of holes in the ground to put your feet in is hardly a Roman orgy. Is it just me or is there a tragic shortage of booze on the islands? In previous years shipwreckers would get off their faces and start wet t-shirt competitions. Now evening entertainment consists of someone hiding a tin of rice pudding.

It's decision time and our new pair are torn. It seems Franki prefers the Tigers while the Maz factor is pulling Greg to the Sharks. They have to make the same decision however and its not a big surprise when they choose a move to Tiger Island. In any other business, Xanthi is told he can switch back to Shark island. With a big smile on his face the lad is as happy as the day he discovered crisps. But the Sharks are in a mess. Nadejah is creating an atmosphere worse than what you'd find under Johnny Vegas' duvet and new arrivals are dodging Shark Island like dartplayers walking past a fruit and veg stall.

So the Tigers are in the lead as we welcome two new arrivals to this islands. Doug is a committed Christian who is saving himself until marriage and Dan is looking for love.

I'm waiting to see if Andrew and Nadejah can go another week without a murder occurring and whether Doug will be forced to knock back Soodi, Maz or Rosie if he gets the chance.

This week's risers:
Andrew: the bloke came across so well, looking like a real part of the Shark team and his rows with Nadejah are great value
Sonny: just loved the latest line from the Catford Casanova "why do you dye the roots of your hair black"
Greg: he really is a top bloke, I'm sure.

Fallers:
Rosie: who?

Yeh i did think that was quite harsh like hammering the giraffe before burrying it

I'm moving towards the Tigers now

Have you uploaded this one yet? Im to lazy to get out of bed the time its aired

David, brilliant review - I actually find myself looking forward more to your reviews than the episodes. Perhaps next week, I'll read your review first, then watch the episode

I actually think this was the best episode so far. And it was actually quite tense at the end as I wasn't sure which island they would pick though it look like Greg did the gentlemanly thing of choosing tigers, I think he'll nominate back to sharks next week though. Andrew and Nadejahs arguments are quite funny and Andrew is quite a good character to watch but I still think he's a complete buffoon and churns out utter rubbish half the time. I thought Greg seemed like a decent enough bloke and Franki was ok but their laws were very boring. Silkie seems like she's gonna become another Hollie and spend her half her time crying, the sharks did seem to aim their abuse at her, to be fair Tom dealt with it a lot better than Silkie, ANdrew went on some abusive ramble to Tom and he was just like 'fair enough' whereas Silkie took it a lot more to heart. You can see that Mackenzie is really playing the game and trying to pretend that he's not, he goes on about how much tigers wanna win but he wants to win just as much and the sharks all seemed quite bitter and not winning the new arrivals. Xanthi also I thought he was a bit forceful getting his point across to the new ariivals..'the islands are so different...i much prefer it over there' before repeating himself about 5 times. Definitely starting to prefer the tigers a lot more than the sharkies now.

Excellent, DING DING ROUND TWO

Ohhh they HAVE to show this!! If the editors exclude this, they're shooting themselves in the foot! My money would be on Nadejah though!!